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Self-sabotage, blockages, underachievement

        The journey of life is a succession of events determined primarily by a complex interplay of inherited traits, instincts, and learned behaviors, all shaped by our cultural and environmental influences.

Although everyone aspires to a happy life, only a few will be rewarded with a serene and fulfilling life. Others will find themselves trapped in chronic stress, persistent anxiety, pain or suffering. Many, however, will end up lukewarm, torn between happiness and suffering, trapped in bearable cycles of stress, anxiety, or a persistent sense of being stuck, unable to break free from the habits of self-sabotage and failure that hold them back in life.

This particular type of more subtle but deeply rooted behavioral patterns – which seem “almost normal” but leave individuals feeling dissatisfied – can be more difficult to unravel. When their wounds are not healed yet, and people can barely stand but believe they have made big progress or have already resolved their issues, without recognizing the deep emotional imprint of a still-bleeding wound, progress can stall. Unhealed past wounds, even those deeply buried, continue to shape perceptions, decisions, and emotional reactions until they are completely healed.

Persistent anxiety caused by unhealed trauma does not always manifest as obvious, overwhelming panic; it often manifests as bothersome and unexplained physical symptoms—chronic pain, digestive upset, headaches, tension, and a knot in the stomach—or can manifest very subtly in everyday life, leading to self-sabotage, underachievement, dissatisfaction, emotional exhaustion, and preventing individuals from reaching their full potential. 

Often caused by unresolved trauma, conflict, long-term stress and anxiety, underachievement, blockages, or self-sabotage, these behavioral patterns can undermine self-esteem and make it difficult to achieve goals. These behaviors are often developed as survival mechanisms in response to disturbing past experiences, and their most common manifestations are:

• Low self-esteem: Feeling worthless, having low self-confidence, feeling not good enough or not accepted

• Negative self-talk: Constantly feeling and thinking negatively about yourself or others, or assuming that others are judging you.

• Irritability or mood swings: A state of heightened alertness, making individuals reactive, impatient, or overly sensitive

• Comparing yourself to others: Feeling bad about yourself in comparison to others, avoiding feedback, being defensive when others offer criticism

• Feeling stuck : When you want to move forward in life, you should, you have to, but you can't, so you feel anxious and scared because you haven't been able to.

• Changes in appetite: Stress-induced eating habits can lead to overeating, undereating, poor food choices, affecting weight, overall health, and energy levels

• Fatigue and lack of energy: Anxiety exhausts the nervous system, leading to chronic exhaustion, even after adequate rest

• Difficulty concentrating: Anxiety creates a mental whisper (noise), making it difficult to focus on tasks, retain information, or complete projects effectively

• Feelings of confusion or “brain fog”: Excessive or constant worry can cause difficulty processing information, leading to forgetfulness and poor decision-making

• Self-doubt: Persistent fear of making mistakes leads to hesitation and reluctance to seize opportunities.

• Caught in a cycle of complacency: Childhood neglect often leads to a tendency to constantly seek validation without ever truly feeling seen or valued

• Hypervigilance: A constant state of alertness or worry about what might go wrong, preventing relaxation or creative thinking.

• Restlessness: Difficulty relaxing due to a racing mind, leading to poor sleep quality and decreased cognitive performance

• Avoiding challenges: Preferring to stay in a “comfort zone” for fear of failure, even at the cost of missing opportunities for growth

• Procrastination: Postponing important tasks or avoiding them altogether, delaying tasks not out of laziness, but because they trigger deep-seated fears of failure or success.

• Perfectionism: Often motivated by being ridiculed for making mistakes, this involves setting unattainable standards, getting caught up in details, and feeling paralyzed by the fear of imperfection

• Imposter syndrome: Feeling like an imposter, even when achieving real success, and doubting one's worth.

• Workaholic: Taking refuge in excessive work to distract from emotional discomfort while avoiding true personal growth.

• Relationship avoidance: Unconsciously pushing people away due to past relationship hurts, fear of vulnerability, fear of making mistakes, or fear of rejection

• Self-isolation: avoiding new experiences, distancing yourself from people, especially when stressed

• Stubbornness, or mental inflexibility, can be a symptom of anxiety. It can create unhealthy patterns and make change difficult.

• Compulsive behaviors: Engaging in activities such as binge eating, smoking, or excessive use of social media as a way to relieve untreated emotional distress

• Risky behaviors: substance use, gambling, infidelity, or other unhealthy behaviors, etc, etc, ..

It's mind boggling to realize that the self-sabotaging and underachieving behaviors mentioned above—which can potentially poison your daily life—may actually have been caused by events that never actually happened. As already explained in the page on emotional trauma, the counterproductive behaviors mentioned above are caused by persistent trauma, stress and anxiety, which may have been caused only by a false and unrealistic perception of past events.

Because what fuels persistent stress and anxiety is the perceived traumatic nature of past events, not the objective value of what actually happened at the time. Or, worse, the post-traumatic stress causing your unwanted behaviors might not even be yours, but inherited transgenerationally. It's so twisted that you can just self-sabotage, without even knowing why you're doing it. This is precisely why traditional approaches to solving these types of problems are complex and often very laborious. 

It is therefore not surprising that many meetings with your therapist are necessary, if only to identify the nature of the problem and establish a suitable therapeutic plan. Then, whether your therapy involves “restructuring your internal dialogue” (replacing negative or limiting thoughts with positive affirmations), “setting achievable goals” (breaking them down into concrete, achievable, and measurable steps), “practicing self-compassion,” forgiving yourself for past mistakes and treating yourself with kindness, or “surrounding yourself with a circle of support” (friends, mentors to help you overcome self-sabotage), all these steps are much easier said than done.

Although most often there is a very likely rational and reasonable explanation behind each of the counterproductive and disturbing mindsets and complex behaviors mentioned above, understanding why and, possibly, changing one's perspective on past events does not necessarily heal the cause or impact the undesirable behavior. Matter of fact is that all above mentioned states of mind and behaviors, regardless of whether you label them as self-sabotaging, underperforming, disturbing, bothersome, annoying, counterproductive etc., they all manifest as “feelings”

Thus, with this approach, you don't need to investigate or understand the often complex causes and motivations behind the self-destructive and counterproductive mindsets and behaviors mentioned above. The most likely motivation behind these behaviors is a feeling, not a mental plan or philosophical conviction. People just "feel like" doing certain things, like procrastinate or isolate themselves, even if they understand that what they are doing is wrong and that it is not helping them. People will simply feel not good enough, worthless, rejected, etc., without necessarily relying on solid factual evidence. It will therefore be necessary to ease responsible feelings.

Somatic Hypnotherapy isn’t tweaking the edges - it’s rewriting the script. Emotional health has long been centered on the conscious mind (psychology) or brain chemistry (psychiatry)—the body was a mere footnote. This approach puts the body's feelings front and center, using hypnosis to unlock its wisdom, not just soothe or reframe it. My approach—fast, client-centered, and results-driven—challenges slow, top-down models, making real, felt changes. It's not about settling scientific debates; it's about applying what works to shift emotional reality.

If you feel trapped in cycles of underachievement, self-doubt, or repetitive emotional struggles, the key isn’t trying harder—it’s healing deeper. Somatic Hypnotherapy works by dissolving the emotional imprints of the feelings that drive self-sabotaging and underperformance patterns. These imprints function like stored memories in the nervous system, influencing how you react to situations, even if you are unaware of their origins.

By the end of your therapy of typically one to a max of three sessions, you'll likely stop your self-sabotaging or underperforming or feeling stuck (blockages) driven behaviors because you'll no longer feel like doing it, not because I hypnotically convince you to change your behavior.

Whatever your pattern of self-sabotage, underachievement, or bad habit, don't let it cripple your life.